The C Word

Posted on January 23, 2012 by


I think it’s about time we address the C word.

There was a time in my life when the C word was forbidden. There was a time when people spoke of the C word as I do now: ‘the C word’. There was a time when people looked down on you for uttering the C word. My P.E teacher told me the C word is at the top of the hierarchy of bad words.

Time passed, though, and I started to learn things about TV licensing, dental fees and buying socks, and I realised it’s okay to use the C word in some instances, like when you realise you need to go to the dentist and you cant afford it, or when you’re talking about Jeremy Clarkson. These days, the C word comforts me, well placed in a sentence, ready to do its damage.

There is a new C word though, more widespread than the old one, more grating on my ears and mush less powerful because of it.


I think Manchester United were in crisis before they beat Man City and Arsenal recently. Manchester City were in crisis because Man Utd beat them but then they beat Spurs on the weekend so now they’re not in crisis. Arsenal are in crisis because their manager made an ill-advised substitution and their captain said “no!” and Liverpool must be in crisis now after losing to Bolton. Chelsea are in crisis because they drew against Norwich, which makes Norwich a club firmly not in crisis because they drew with Chelsea. Spurs, who were beaten by previous crisis club Manchester City, are now on the brink of crisis if they don’t pick up enough ‘title challenging’ points in the upcoming and tough run of games.

I think it’s about time we addressed the C word.

Darlington F.C are in crisis. They needed £50,000 of bailout money from their fans to pay their players and staff and no one really has any idea if they’ll even be a football club in the next few weeks.

Portsmouth F.C are in crisis, after crisis. A fresh financial meltdown greets Portsmouth fans and staff this week, after yet another bankruptcy scare threatens the south coast club.

Tottenham Hotspur have spent a lot of money and are doing really well in the league, but their manager might go to prison for tax evasion and they lost to Man City to a Mario Balotelli penalty after he stamped on Scott Parkers head. Still not a crisis, though, is it? They’ll still be a premiership team in a few years, they won’t win the league but they’ll probably get Champions League football. If their manager goes to prison for tax evasion, which he won’t, then they’ll get a really good new one and pay him loads of money. It’s not a crisis.

Arsenal are NOT in crisis. With a net spend of £4,224,000 (which means they’ve made £4m in the last 10 years on transfers alone) they are entitled to have a little drop in form where qualifying for the Champions League is concerned. They are also in the knockout stages for the Champions League. Not in crisis.

Liverpool are pretty close to being something near a crisis. They have a decade net spend £207,692,320, more than Arsenal and Manchester Utd, who are performing better then them. Arsenal haven’t won a trophy for six years, Liverpool haven’t won one in five. This is not to say that Liverpool are indeed in crisis, but if Arsenal are (which they’re not) then Liverpool are (which they’re not).

I think it’s about time we start using the C****s word the same way we used to use the c**t word, i.e. when it really matters.

People who uses the C****s word willy-nilly are C***s.

Posted in: Football